One might not expect to learn much while working at a
cemetery in the middle of May but you’d be surprised. Lessons about life,
courage, and love can jump out and startle you. As I mentioned before, I spent
some time working at a cemetery with my uncle (during both Mother’s day and
Memorial Day Weekend) helping out with the irregular waves of people that come
to visit loved ones. During that time my basic duty was to pass out flyers,
work the hospitality tent, and ultimately help out my uncle with his sales.
However, this was not all I ended up doing.
I first started working on Mother’s Day and unfortunately
the day started off pretty dreary. There was a constant drizzle and a not so
gentle breeze but nonetheless it was a day dedicated to the wonderful women in
our lives and was going to be honored regardless. Once the weather started to
clear up the first wave of people started to arrive. These people turned out to
be a large group who all attended the same mosque. As more and more arrived, my
fellow workers and I learned that this was a daily visit. The fact that it was
Mother’s day was an irrelevant fact; this group honored their dead with such dedication
and tenderness that all we could do was watch and offer any assistance needed.
It made me think about how little I pay respects to my deceased loved ones.
From that moment I made a pact with myself to find a way that I could more
actively pay tribute to family and friends that have passed.
As the day progressed, I was sent out onto the “floor”. The
floor was any one of the numerous memorial gardens that the cemetery
encompassed. On the floor, I was supposed to approach a visitor paying
respects, offer condolences and assistance, and if possible hand out an entry
card for the raffle the cemetery was holding. I approached many people but
there was one man in particular that stood out in my memory. He was alone when
I walked up and was extremely open when I started to talk to him. He was a
Desert Storm veteran whose entire family was buried in the same garden of the
cemetery. The more he talked the more it became evident that he was facing an
internal dilemma. He knew that it was tradition to be buried alongside his
relatives but he really wanted to be buried in another state where he and his
wife lived. As a 16 year old, death and all its accompanying decisions was
something I had never thought about. But this conversation with this man helped
me to start thinking about how important family can play a role in your life
AND death. I do not know what the man will end up choosing but I hope that in
his afterlife he will be satisfied with his decision.
A couple weeks later, I returned to the cemetery to help out
during Memorial Day. I thanked as many veterans as I could but the most
intriguing event of the day had nothing to due with war or veterans. I was
working the front gate and stopping each car to welcome them and direct them to
wherever they needed to go. When I approached one car, the driver rolled down
the window and revealed that it was a middle aged man and a friend. After I
greeted him and handed out the information about the cemetery he handed me a
ten-dollar bill. I quickly handed back the bill and began to explain that there
was no need to pay me. He cut me off mid-sentence to say that he had just left
the hospital and only had a month to live. This statement shocked me into
silence. All I could do was reiterate my previous offer of assistance and he
rolled up his window and drove off. I am still processing that moment, feelings
of thankfulness and wariness and sadness all run through my head when I think
about it. I hope that someday I will learn how to understand what he said and
how he was able to say it so calmly. All I know is that I greatly admire that
man for the courage and strength that he obviously showed in that short
interaction.
So as you can see, my brief time working there left a
lasting mark on me. I am sure the things I realized and experience will late
influence big parts of my life. I am not sure if I would want to work there
again because I am still reeling from the dying man. But I am glad that I was
able to have those eye-opening and thought-provoking moments. Like I said, it
might surprise you what you can learn from working at a cemetery. It sure
surprised me.
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